Having fun with his new sunglasses!!

So it's been awhile since I've posted. I have been enjoying Motherhood. Since the last post, our Son has been such a playful, happy boy. He is trying to say more words, he's learning to eat with a baby fork and he is finding new things to do everyday. He loves playing with his children's vaccum we bought at a garage sale. I wish I could have had a camera the other day, because I was vaccuming with "mommy's vaccum" and behind me was Thomas vaccuming with his. I literally felt like I had a shadow..........so cute!! He gets so excited when Daddy comes home from work. "Dadadadadadada DAAAADDDDDAAA" When Jim parks, I take Thomas out to him and Thomas sits in his lap pretending to drive for a few minutes. He's learning how to take his pants off. He walks around the house with them around his knees. He looks at you with a look like "what's the matter Mom?" He loves visiting Grandma & Papa's house to play on their grass. When we gave him a football, he'd squat over it and squeeze his legs. I jokingly said to my dad, "No doubt about that play, the reciever had full control of that ball." Thomas will get to meet his Uncle & Aunt this weekend (my relatives). So we are anxious to watch him play with new faces. What a busy week, but we have had so much fun together!!! Despite finding out yesterday that he has a little ear infection so he's on antibiotics now. The doctor assured me it's not contagious it's in his ear.
Bet you didn't know this crazy fact about me: I love to dance with Thomas to his Children's Christian Song CD and also to Hot Dog on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

**Nothing new in the process has happened other than he has a new Adoption SW. Court hearnig in May**

Such a disappointment, Son....

So today Thomas and I went for a nice long walk with our neighbor and her son. We walked for 2 hours (and tonight I feel my age & body). Then Thomas and I had many errands to run, some before lunch and naptime. We were standing in line at KMART, and Thomas was noticing all the junk on the cover of the tabloids. He noticed this one magazine with a skinny blond who obviously had to weigh about 100 pounds, with long blond hair and a curvacious body. The kind of body we'd die for, but we know is pretty unrealistic. He blurted out loudly "Momma! Momma!" as he was pointing to the magazine. The lady behind us laughed when I said, "Sorry son, this is your Momma (pointing to myself). I am sorry for this disappointment!" However, it is nice to think that he associated that beautiful woman to his Momma.

Then tonight, while baking cookies and making dinner, Thomas played with his toys in the kitchen. He has this Little People barn (similar to the Fisher Price ones we all played with) that my cousin gave him. He decided to walk around the kitchen cutting board table and the dining room, carrying this barn (closed together) like a suitcase. He'd stop and rest a minute like it was really heavy!! He also would line up the little people then make his little firetruck crash into them, sending the little people all over the floor. His little laugh is so precious. Definetly makes me chuckle when I see him laughing so hard at himself.

I am absolutely loving every minute of my day with our son. It's nice to have us both ready and waiting for Daddy to come home. Thomas usually runs to Jim's arms when he walks in the door. I love that!!!

We need to get out today!

So Thomas and Mommy have been couped up all week because of heavy rain & wind. Finally today the rain is letting up and I am almost out of bottle drop-ins. So I figured it'd be good for us to get out and go to a store, walk around and get what we need. My mom stopped by to play with Thomas while I showered and got dressed. (Thanks a million for my mom and her ability to come over to help.) So we got bundled up, got his sweatshirt on, grabbed my jacket. Locked the door and proceeded to the car. Thomas loves going bye-bye, so he was happy. I usually warm the car up while I put him in his carseat. As I hold him in my arms and turn the key............I hear the sound of NOTHING! My battery was dead!! Thomas was having fun pretending to drive the car as I called my mom. I shared with her my sad news of "I guess Thomas & Mommy are going......Nowhere today." We sat in the car for a few minutes while he played like he was driving, pushing the buttons on the radio and on the A/C. After a few minutes I shared with my happy little guy, that we had to go in the house again. As we stepped out of my car, my mom stopped by with her friend who she takes to the store. Her face beamed with a smile as she said "Welcome to Motherhood!!"
So Thomas and Mommy will wait until tonight when Daddy gets home, so he can go get a new battery. Hmm..............what can we do that we haven't already done. We both have cabin fever today!!

Update

So we recieved a phone call last night from Thomas' BM. She broke down and cried to Jim as she explained that she knows she can't straighten her life before May. She expressed how her sister shared with her how caring we were with Thomas. How loving we treated him and how we take him to church and the whole family loves him. She expressed her desire for us to adopt him. PRAISE GOD!! She only asked if we could share with him who she is, and that she could possibly see him 2 times a year. Jim & I both feel okay with that, since it's only 2 hours a year. Thomas does need to know who she is and we aren't going to hide that from him. She did make a good choice........she had a clean pregnancy!! So if she proceeds with these feelings and contacts her attorney. She could infact voluntarily terminate her parental rights before our court hearing in May. We pray for her as she makes this decision. May she feel peace in her heart knowing that Thomas is in a home where he is loved. Thomas will grow in our family to be taught morals and ethics that will help him become a successful person. Thomas will grow up to know Jesus and hopefully accept him as his Father. May she rest knowing that we pray for her to clean up her life. She is so young and she has a chance in life to turn her life around.
Of course, we know that only God knows the outcome of this process. But, we have spent many hours in prayer (in 12 years) and we feel like Thomas is the angel he created for us to raise and love as our Son. Thank you again for all of your prayers. I will continue to update you on any new developments.

I'd like to ask you to pray for our friends Troy & Lori, too.

They are going through a tough adoption process for their son, Matthew.

Please pray for strength as they face many court hearings and also deal with tough situations. May the BF see that Troy & Lori are the best place for

Matthew to be.

So cute!

Today my mom & I managed to get in a walk, with Thomas before the rain. He loves riding in his stroller. We bundled him up and he looked so cute. He had on his footsie jammies, a brown sweatshirt over that, a brown bear cub beanie and these small little gloves. He first tried to put his finger in his nose with the glove. But to his suprise his finger wouldn't fit. Then he'd just wave his hands and smile. He loves being with my mom ("ma"). She is goofy enough for him to laugh, but sweet enough for him to love her hugs and kisses. We walked around then stopped to get a coffee. Continued our walk home and Thomas was laughing at Ma because she was singing and pointing to him. His little giggles are so cute!! When we got home, Ma dressed him and played with him. He was very fascinated with the plastic lid from her coffee. She'd put in on his head and he'd grin from ear to ear. He kept running around the living room doing his "happy dance". This little dance he does is he moves his legs so fast on the ground and he opens his mouth. So you hear him go blub-blub-blub-blub. He makes himself laugh!! After she left, he grabbed his blanket and so I mentioned "are you ready for your ba-ba?" He ran to my arms with his blanket and said "Ba-Ba??" So I filled up his bottle with milk for his AM nap. He drank his milk, then when I laid him down he giggled and played with his crib toys for a few minutes. Then peeking through his door, I noticed our precious angel was fast asleep. Still sleeping..........although it's almost been an hour and a half, so he should wake soon.
Today is definetly a grilled cheese sandwich and left over apple salad.
The process is moving quickly towards adoption. Our SW shared with us that hopefully things will move so fast, that BM won't have time for a visit. Although, this weekend an answered prayer in our lives gave us a new look on encouraging him contact his BM when he's older (like in his 20s-30s). God is Good!!

Visitation was painful today

Today's visitation with Thomas' aunt went pretty rough.

After we got there we ended up walking him into the office, followed by this very young looking aunt (with her own baby). She began speaking in Spanish to him and calling him by his birth name (not Thomas), he wouldn't even look at her, he just clung to Jim tight. He was looking all around the reception area, anywhere but where this young lady was standing. The SW opened the door to the visitation room and the aunt entered with her baby in tote. This room was no more than a 8x8, with a table, three chairs and a two-way window. A room that you'd see police doing an interrogation on a criminal after a crime. The walls were painted pink, the white tile floor and no toys or any children's things anywhere. The SW followed and Jim set Thomas down so he could walk in there. Thomas quickly turned around and latched on to Jim's leg with a scared look on his face. Jim picked him up and carried him into the room. Set him down and walked out. Thomas ran quickly back out crying and grabbed Jim's again. I began to head to the door, as I could feel myself starting to lose it. The aunt came out, and Jim handed Thomas to her. When he started to cry, she turned with Thomas and said give Daddy a kiss good-bye. Thomas reached for Jim. Jim turned to me with a look in his eyes that showed tears were about to hit him too. They left into the room, and we walked toward the door. All we could hear was loud crying. Both of us headed quickly to the car, got in and both felt like our hearts had been ripped out. Something didn't feel right. Our baby was left alone in a strange room with strange people without Mommy & Daddy. We went to Wal-Mart to get some diapers (not 5 minutes away). As we stood in line to pay for our diapers, my cell phone rang. The SW began talking to me, but all I could hear were screams of fear coming from our child. She asked me if he'd eaten. I told her yes about 1.5 hours before. I told her we were on our way back there. Jim drove like a maniac or rather a concerned father back to the County building. We both walked very quickly from our car, to the room where our baby was screaming. Jim went in first. Thomas immediately reached for Daddy. Jim grabbed him and held him very close. As I walked in, Thomas reached for me. His little face was beat red from crying. Tears were streaming down his cheeks. As I wrapped my loving arms around our son, his little body was stiff with fear and he was shaking from head to toe. He laid his head into my body and clung on to me. The aunt said to Jim, "He just wanted his Mommy & Daddy." As we sat there for a short time, Thomas didn't cry but clung to us tightly. As the SW began to end our visitation, the aunt requested a picture with Thomas. I was sitting not 4 feet from her, and Jim stood up with Thomas in his arms and handed him to her. He stepped back to take this picture. Thomas began kicking and screaming as he reached for Jim. The SW made a comment like "He might have thought he was going to be taken from you. Every time he has been removed from a home environment, this SW has taken him away. It was obvious to us, that Thomas knew who his Mommy & Daddy were. He knew who loved him and protected him. He knew he belonged with us. On the way home, he drifted off to sleep, but would wake up screaming and look at us. Then he'd nod back off to sleep. Jim believes he was reliving the event in his dreams and was looking for us. When he saw we were there, he went back to sleep. When we got to my parents to pick up our dinner, my wonderful parents had so graciously prepared for us, Thomas was merely taken from the car seat into my mom's arms. She hugged him and told him how much she loved him. They didn't show, but I could tell my mom was fighting tears of joy to have him back in our arms. We tried to keep his night as much as normal as possible. Some of his eating manners were similar to when we picked him up from Polinsky Children's center. We just loved on him and laughed with him tonight.

We know we are truly parents because we were fearful for him and his thoughts. Those images of leaving him in that room, hearing his cry and then seeing his traumatized body, has left us saddened for him. Such a little guy and he has gone through so much. We pray that this adoption goes through quickly and that Thomas doesn't have to experience anymore of that. We pray that God protects his little mind and wipes away all fear. We pray that he knows how much our family loves him and how much we have prayed for him. He is peacefully sleeping in his crib, with his blanket, and his glow-worm. We know that we probably will be waken by his cries tonight as he wakes up with those dreams. Poor little guy!


Our favorite adoption song is by is now playing on our blog.  It's called "Born From Our Heart (The Adoption Song)" by mr. RAY...  Jim and I first heard it the first night we picked up Thomas from the orphanage.  It seems that everytime we have seeds of doubt or problems, this song is played on the radio (Kids Place-Sirius/XM).