Yesterday's visit

So yesterday was the 3rd supervised visit w/Thomas' birthmom. It was hard on Jim & I to put Thomas in the SW's car and know that he was crying when we closed the door. Like I have said before, we are very greatful for our SW's gentleness w/Thomas and she is fully aware of what's going on. So to try to lose an hour we walked around Home Depot and then over to Office Depot. We were happy to see as we were paying for a stapler at Office Depot that Thomas would be back with us in less than 10 minutes. (I guess we did good making the time pass) So we drove over to meet the SW near Starbucks. When she pulled up, we jumped out of the truck and rushed over to open the door. He was so happy to see us!! He began smiling and starting fussing a little but we feel like it was just a fussy, like "I'm glad that's done". His eyes were red, obvious he had been crying a lot. The SW got out and kept saying to Thomas, "see I told you Mommy & Daddy would be coming back soon." She briefed us on what happened w/the visit. No suprise to us, she was almost 30 minutes late. She has been late to every visit. The SW said that Thomas was clenching on to her leg and wouldn't go to the BM. She said that it was like all the other visits, where she almost acts like she has to be there, but really doesn't interact w/Thomas at all. The SW explained his behavior to us as maybe he remembers something bad that happened when he was w/her. We have noticed this all along. So anyways, not to bore you will all the details. We have a visit scheduled for the next 2 Fridays from 3:00-4:00. It sounds like then they'll stop until the hearing on May 3rd. IF the parental rights aren't terminated then, we'll have to begin visitations again. So we are praying that the judge sees that his BM isn't a fit parent-figure and that we should end that part and begin the final phase of this process.
We enjoyed some family time eating dinner out last night and then went to Target to do a little shopping. Thomas was out like a light by 7:00 which is very early for him because lately he's been up until 8:00-8:45. Poor guy, a lot of crying can make you tired I guess.

Thanks for your continued prayers!!

Visitation

Today is another visitation with Thomas' BM. The visitation is from 3:00-4:00 but we'll meet the SW earlier somewhere away from the visitation location. Jim & I have discussed with the SW and have decided that its' best Jim & I aren't at the visitation, for many reasons. Last visitation was pretty intense. Please pray that God will put a shield of protection around Thomas' heart as he has to go through these. Also please continue to pray for the SW as she seems to be on the same page as us and she is very caring about Thomas, too. I will post at sometime how things went, this weekend. Just can't guarantee that it will be tonight.

Thanks again for all your love & prayers for us in this process!! Remember we need to pray for his BM, too.

AAAAAAAAAA

Thomas is doing really well with learning to eat with his fork and spoon. However, we are having a hard time teaching him not to wear his bowl. When I play with Thomas he laughs hysterically when I put a hat on my head and (pretend to) sneeze; at which the hat flys off my head. So his newest thing is when he puts something on his head he goes "AAAAAAAAAAA" then drops his head forward like he sneezed and it fell off. I guess when I AAAACCCHHHOOOO he thinks it goes AAAAAAAAAA. Let me point one little detail about last night when this bowl found it's place on his head. He had just finished his chicken nuggets that he dips in ranch. Yep, you heard me...........RANCH salad dressing. Underneath this bowl his head is oily, greasy and white with ranch. As a mom I can say "Thank goodness for bathtubs!!" He really is fun to watch so we can see what we look like to him.

God's greatness

Thomas loves hanging out with Grandma & Papa. His newest thing is to drive the tractor with one of them. This is one of my favorite pictures cause my dad & Thomas both have the same content expression on their faces. My parents have an amazing yard that Thomas loves to play in. The neighbors horses always get visited, too. Thomas loves it when they winnie at him. He got to help Grandma water the roses the other day with the garden hose. He has so much fun at their house. We are blessed to have Thomas in our lives, but he is very blessed to have such great Grandparents!! What a joy to have them spend time with Thomas (& Mommy). Spring is God's way of making us appreciate his beautiful creation, even more than ever. I love this time of year.

Thomas Driving Race Car

 They grow up so fast.  Already driving, what next, College?  It seems we just got him. LOL

Second Visitation with Birth Mom

This afternoon's visit with Thomas' BM did not go well. As soon as he began crying the SW opened the door and asked us to come into the room. When we got in there he grabbed onto me and wanted to be near Jim, too. His BM and her cousin/friend (whatever she was) were sitting on this couch. The SW sitting across from us. Without getting into much detail, lets just say the bipolar disorder really showed itself today. She was crying, then she'd act depressed, then she'd become very aggressive. At one point the BM started getting upset at the SW (County Adoption Agency) and using some profanity. At which Jim looked over at the SW who immediately explained, that she could talk about that later. The purpose of this visit is to interact with Thomas. Today she also found out that we are calling him Thomas and not using his birth name. To the SW (before we came in the room) she was very upset about this. But to us, she said (in front of the SW) that she was okay with us calling him Thomas. This cousin/friend (or whatever) began questioning why she or another family member couldn't get custody of him. The SW briefly explained why, but the BM began accusing the agency of treating her wrong and not allowing someone else to take Thomas. As she was ranting and raving about this, her friend said "THESE people shouldn't have him. He was taken away from her." They kept saying he should be with blood relatives. The BM kept insisting that when "it's over" (assuming she's talking about the adoption) she'd like to see him on every holiday and his birthday. She also was talking about how she'd like to take him for a day or afternoon to Chuckie-Cheese. She also wants him to call her mommy. Thomas came towards me and his BM was trying to get his attention. I said "Thomas look over there at Monica" and her "friend" whispered quite loudly "you're not Monica, you're MOMMY!!"
For about 45 minutes this accusations, questioning and aggression took place with us in this small play room. After everything ended and BM and friend left, we talked to the SW about what had happened. She assured us that there is no way Thomas could be taken from us. She explained a little more about BM's "condition" and behavior. Jim & I both feel very lucky to have this woman for a SW, as she is very caring and is concerned about our feelings. This SW is very open with us about this process and what is happening now. She is very much aware of how this is affecting Thomas. Unfortunately this has to happen a few more times before our court hearing in May. The SW has offered to pick-up Thomas at another location and take him to the visits. Jim & I feel like maybe we should take her up on this. We of course would be around the corner at a store or park in case they have to end the visit due to his (crying) behavior. We are starting to feel a little uncomfortable about her and her friends seeing our cars. When we left this afternoon, we both just felt so emotionally drained. This is going to be a long process. The SW assured us that this is the type of things that can happen at these visits. Our SW called us after Thomas' SW called her. Our SW was also asking us about our feelings. Both of these SW work in the same office and are 2 of the most nicest, caring and open people we've met through this adoption journey. We have another visitation with BM in 11 days.

** Please pray that Thomas isn't affected by her "behavior" and he knows that Mommy & Daddy love him and won't ever leave him. Please also pray that Thomas is able to get some good sleep at night. He tends to wake with night tares for a few nights after these visits happen. **

Ouch!!

So this morning my neighbor, her son, Thomas & I went for a walk. We went out by the little airport to walk where there's no traffic and lots of airplanes flying around. As we were around the middle of our walk, we decided to let both of our boys out of the strollers to walk for a few minutes and throw a rock in the puddle of water. Thomas hadn't been out of the stroller more than 5 minutes, when he took a face dive into the asphalt. I don't think I've picked him up so quick since we've had him. He was screaming and blood was coming from his lip and some from his nose area. After wiping the blood up for a few minutes, and noticing my shirt bloodied up from cuddling him (that's what washing machines are for), he began to stop his crying. My friend (mother of 3 boys) said he looked fine, that he probably was more scarred than anything. He got a nice road-rash on his upper lip, his nose and part of his forehead. He landed on his face, not his head. It was scary for me, too!! My friend said she couldn't believe that a 15 month old got his 1st nice boob-boo. She said as a boy, he'll get many more scrapes and bumps. However, he is a Foster child, not my biological, so we have to treat things differently. It's not super bad (at least it doesn't look like it) but we have to go see his Pediatrician for documentation purposes. Also, the timing is not very good for this to happen to him. We have another visit w/his BM tomorrow. The SW has spoken with me 2 times and assured me that his BM probably will be upset. But the SW has assured me that she will explain to her what happened, and as a SW they expect things to happen. We just want the documentation in case his BM calls CPS or something. My neighbor is also writing a statement what happened, to cover us. I feel so bad. He was so happy to get out of his stroller and go to the puppy his friend was walking with. My mom & I were at the same spot the other day and let him out to go throw a rock at the water puddle. Still as a Mommy, I feel horrible. Wish it were me instead of my little guy. Pray that the BM is understanding and doesn't cause a scene.

Boom, Boom, Boom

Thomas loves music!! He loves to dance when he's at church and he loves to rock out in his carseat to the radio. When he first came to our home, he discovered the drum set Jim had for his PS3 guitar hero game. Ever since that day, he loves to walk over to them and bang on them and say "Boom, Boom". So every now and then Jim will turn them on and let him play. Last night he sat on his horse and rocked out. I think MVCC (our church) should watch out because here comes the next generation drummer for the worship team!!

Hope you enjoy it too!!!! (click on the below player)

The joys of motherhood

I am loving every moment of being a Mommy. I find myself smiling throughout the day at the sweet things our son does and also feeling blessed to know that God sent him to us. Thomas is definetly developing more of a personality and he loves to laugh and smile. He really is a good baby, despite his cranky moments during teething. We really couldn't have asked for a better baby. Thomas is my little shadow during the day when Daddy is at work. When I do dishes, he helps me close the dishwasher and gets out lots of towels, too!! He helps me with laundry, too. I hand him the wet clothes from the washer and he throws it in the dryer with a BEW sound. Hopefully he'll continue to help with laundry, which will make his wife happy someday. He likes to chase me when I vaccum and then he gets out his vaccum and mimics me when I put mine away. He is starting to enjoy books and we find him sitting still to watch TV or play on the floor by himself more. I sat in his room while he played the other day, looking through my cookbooks for dinner ideas. He sat on my leg and when I turned the pages, he'd look at the picture and say "MMM". He loves to give kisses "MMMWWWAA" and he's starting to say more, too. I am so thankful that Jim works a job which provides for us and that I am blessed to stay at home with our baby.

God is faithful and if we are faithful to Him and we wait for his timing........He promises to bless us in ways we can't imagine.

Family Time

On Monday Thomas had to go get some shots and visit the doctor. Felt so bad when he cried when they poked him. We bought a really neat backpack carrier thingy that Jim can put Thomas in and go for a hike. It's to help get Jim in shape, but I know he likes the Daddy Time with Thomas, too. So we tried it out on a walk near the airport in our town. Thomas loves watching the airplanes at Grandma & Papa's house. It was a beautiful afternoon, so we took him out to the airport. Thomas loved watching the airplanes and the helicopter fly over him. He kept patting Jim on the shoulders like "Good Job Daddy, keep going" and he even laid his head on Jim's back to watch an airplane land. What a great way to have some family time!! More than likely you'll never see me wear that thing and on a big hike. I love to walk with Thomas in the stroller :)

What a gorgeous day and what a great way to spend time together in God's amazing creation!!