"You've been chosen"

(again sorry for the lengthy post)

Those were the words I heard on the phone from the SW last Wednesday afternoon. I was in shock and felt shaky. Could this be real? Did I hear her right? She gave me some info on the BM and asked if we wanted to meet her SW? I called Jim at work and shared the news with him "are you serious" was his response. I felt like saying "would I joke about that?" You could hear in his voice the excitement, yet caution. We have been down this road 2 previous times that didn't work out. We set up a time to meet with her SW that week, to find out more information. We have always prayed about things, but we prayed very hard after this phone call. I called our closest friends and asked for prayer that if this was God's will, it would be made known. We also prayed that if this isn't His will, that too, would be clear. The joy that we felt was undescribable. I shed a few tears, but mostly wanted to acknowledge God and praise Him for this very moment. Word spread rather quickly (thanks to a small town), and people prayed more and more for us and this situation. Our meeting came early Friday morning and we prayed before we went in. When we left, we both had this peaceful feeling that this was the baby God has chosen for us. Again, it was such a wonderful feeling that words can't even express it. The SW told us she didn't want an answer until Monday. We shared with our close friends, Brian & Kay and also with our mentors, Josh & Heidi; some of the in depth information and we spent time in prayer together. We felt that God wanted them to be in our lives at this moment and to share in our joy. Monday morning at 8:00 I called the SW with our answer......can you guess what it was?
The next step was to meet the BM. We met this young BM and we were so happy to hear her story that got her to this moment. She new from the moment she found out she was pregnant, this baby would be placed in adoption. Not one moment through this 9 months has she changed her mind. We asked her what made her chose us? She shared that the Adoption Agency gave her 3 profiles to read. The first 2 she felt were nice families, but didn't feel a connection. She said she began reading ours and couldn't stop crying. She said she knew that we were the family she wanted to adopt her unborn baby. Again, it's words like this that make us think God had planned all this. He gave her those thoughts (to place for Adoption) from the beginning and she was guided to our profile. We found out some more information (will remain private) that once again confirmed loud and clear that, yes God has planned this!
So here we are waiting to meet our new baby boy, Jonathan. We have never felt that God has left us, we just felt that He wasn't listening to us. We have never ever felt God's prescence in our home & lives as we do now. When I am in the nursery, folding blankets or arranging the baby powder, and folding baby clothes, I just feel in awe of God and so blessed to be His daughter.
The morning after the phone call, I couldn't get this baby and BM off my mind. I laid awake from 3:15-3:55, when at 4:00 I felt this strong urge to get up. I could hear God whisper to my heart, "I have never left you, my child. I have always promised you that I will answer your prayers. You just had to trust me and let me be in full control. I love you and want to see you happy." I truly believe that God woke me up, to call me to Him. I felt that God wanted me, in the quiet hours of the early morning to spend time with Him. I felt God's prescence that morning.
So now we wait with anticipation and anxiousness to meet our angel, our son, our answer to prayer. We acknowledge that God is in control and we can't wait to raise this son up to know Jesus and accept Him into his life.