Second Visitation with Birth Mom

This afternoon's visit with Thomas' BM did not go well. As soon as he began crying the SW opened the door and asked us to come into the room. When we got in there he grabbed onto me and wanted to be near Jim, too. His BM and her cousin/friend (whatever she was) were sitting on this couch. The SW sitting across from us. Without getting into much detail, lets just say the bipolar disorder really showed itself today. She was crying, then she'd act depressed, then she'd become very aggressive. At one point the BM started getting upset at the SW (County Adoption Agency) and using some profanity. At which Jim looked over at the SW who immediately explained, that she could talk about that later. The purpose of this visit is to interact with Thomas. Today she also found out that we are calling him Thomas and not using his birth name. To the SW (before we came in the room) she was very upset about this. But to us, she said (in front of the SW) that she was okay with us calling him Thomas. This cousin/friend (or whatever) began questioning why she or another family member couldn't get custody of him. The SW briefly explained why, but the BM began accusing the agency of treating her wrong and not allowing someone else to take Thomas. As she was ranting and raving about this, her friend said "THESE people shouldn't have him. He was taken away from her." They kept saying he should be with blood relatives. The BM kept insisting that when "it's over" (assuming she's talking about the adoption) she'd like to see him on every holiday and his birthday. She also was talking about how she'd like to take him for a day or afternoon to Chuckie-Cheese. She also wants him to call her mommy. Thomas came towards me and his BM was trying to get his attention. I said "Thomas look over there at Monica" and her "friend" whispered quite loudly "you're not Monica, you're MOMMY!!"
For about 45 minutes this accusations, questioning and aggression took place with us in this small play room. After everything ended and BM and friend left, we talked to the SW about what had happened. She assured us that there is no way Thomas could be taken from us. She explained a little more about BM's "condition" and behavior. Jim & I both feel very lucky to have this woman for a SW, as she is very caring and is concerned about our feelings. This SW is very open with us about this process and what is happening now. She is very much aware of how this is affecting Thomas. Unfortunately this has to happen a few more times before our court hearing in May. The SW has offered to pick-up Thomas at another location and take him to the visits. Jim & I feel like maybe we should take her up on this. We of course would be around the corner at a store or park in case they have to end the visit due to his (crying) behavior. We are starting to feel a little uncomfortable about her and her friends seeing our cars. When we left this afternoon, we both just felt so emotionally drained. This is going to be a long process. The SW assured us that this is the type of things that can happen at these visits. Our SW called us after Thomas' SW called her. Our SW was also asking us about our feelings. Both of these SW work in the same office and are 2 of the most nicest, caring and open people we've met through this adoption journey. We have another visitation with BM in 11 days.

** Please pray that Thomas isn't affected by her "behavior" and he knows that Mommy & Daddy love him and won't ever leave him. Please also pray that Thomas is able to get some good sleep at night. He tends to wake with night tares for a few nights after these visits happen. **