Update

We met the child's Case Worker on Saturday at an Adoption Event. At this point we are waiting to see if she chooses our Homestudy and accepts us. She recieved our Homestudy & Profile a week ago Monday. Unfortunately we are really at a WAITing game. Please pray for our patience during this process. If he's not the baby for us, then another hopefully will come along.

So the happy news is............
We found out that we are a 100% match for this little guy. He has been waiting placement for 5 months now, and we came up in the system as a MATCH!! A few things happened on Friday, which made us once again wonder if this was God's way of assuring us He is in the picture. Jim & I are excited, but of course we aren't getting our hopes up too high, after falling last time. While this case is more positive that it could happen, we still are guarding our hearts. Basically, our SW is working with the baby's Case Worker, so now it's a waiting game on our end. Of course after wanting a child for 12 years (not through the adoption process.....but biologically) we are pretty good at practicing patience, yet we are hopeful that we will get a call soon. In many areas of the bible it speaks of asking God, and He answers. We feel assured that He is listening to us, and once we released all desires into His hands, we began to see Him at work. Sometimes trusting God is the hardest part, but He always blesses His children.....somehow. God is Good!!
So we are a 100% match, but it isn't a 100% deal until we get a call.
Thanks for your continuous prayers.

So here we are again

We have been on the phone with our Social Worker, with yet another possible match. This is a baby boy, 5 months old. He has been in the care of a Christian Foster Mom since birth.
Please join us in prayer as we possibly pursue this child. If God is leading us closer to finding our baby, then we pray that we will feel His peace and joy that only he can give.
All the details and little things look so hopeful in this situation. Jim & I are feeling a little cautious, so we don't open a wound in our hearts to yet another hurt. The nursery is still full of baby boy things.........hmm!!
We should know more by Monday...................... stay tuned!
God is Good!!

God is Good..........we have to hold on to that!!

God is Good to me because:
- He blessed me with the best husband & friend in the world. Jim is an amazing husband who is brave, faithful, supportive and loving.
- He has given me loving, supportive and amazing parents.
- Where would I be without the love of my brother (his wife & girls).
- I am blessed because I have a home which is because of my hard-working husband.
- I am blessed because I have many wonderful friends who have surrrounded me with love.
- I am blessed to be living in a FREE Country.
- I am blessed to have food to eat and clothes to wear.
- I am blessed because I have HOPE.
- We are blessed because we have amazing family from East Coast to West Coast and in between!
- I am blessed because I have you!!
- I am truly blessed because I am the daughter of a King, the Lord of lords and the creator of all things, Jesus Christ

I have been praying for the BM and the baby. When she met us, hopefully she felt the prescence of God in our lives. Maybe this is a new beginning for her. We will never know, but we must remember them in our prayers.

In all things we can find good and blessings. In my life, I am focusing on all the good things right now. One day at a time......

"Congratulations"

We are learning how to handle our emotions when some friends/coworkers wish us that very thing. We understand that not everyone has heard the sad news, they only heard the initial happy news. However, we just kindly answer them with love and share some information about how it didn't work out. It is amazing how living in such a small town, how fast word travels through our jobs, and friends. It's also nice to feel many of those same people surround us with love & grace, during our time of grief. I'm not sure if it's part of the grieving process or what, but I find myself feeling kinda "numb" to the whole topic when people ask about it. Is that normal? My heart is still sad, and oh how I wish that nursery door was open with the smell of baby powder and cooing of a little baby, instead of a dark, quiet and with a closed door. I've never gone through this type of grieving process, so I'm not sure if this is part of it. I know when we lost the baby (3 years ago), I was sad, but I don't remember this part of the sadness.
I have been such a busy girl lately, that I find myself having only little time at home. Being busy is helping to keep my mind off of things. Today I actually took a long nap after work. Still feel emotionally tired. Of course Jim is gone, so I have had more quiet time, too.
Anyways, please continue your prayers for both of us. Every day is one day toward healing. Thank you again for all the cards, emails & kind words of encouragement.

Which way do I go?

Show me the path where I should walk, O Lord; point out the right road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you. Psalm 25:4-5

It's been a week since we met her

Last Thursday night we were filled with so much excitement. Hubby was working on creating a special (Firefighter type) birth announcement to send to friends. Friends and family were referring to baby as Jonathan, the name we chose. Friends were bringing things by to fill the nursery. We were so nervous about becoming parents, yet so excited to meet our son. The BM had been speaking with our SW and was so happy to meet us in person. She felt certain that we were the family she wanted to place her unborn son with. We definitely didn't see what was coming...........
We still find ourselves wondering what does he look like? Is she feeling okay? Are they both safe? Does BM think of us? Questions we will never have answers to. But we encourage you to pray for her as they both move on.
We do feel your prayers and love, because we find that we can talk about it a little more without tears. But, we find ourselves feeling sad at certain times of the day and night. It feels like we have had a death in the family. Smiles on our faces feel superficial, because our hearts are still aching. We know that God is our strength and that only through Him will we be able to heal from this pain. We couldn't imagine going through this without God's love and arms to hold us.

The meals that have been brought to us, have been such a blessing. The friends who call just to check on us, are so comforting. My parents who continue to stop by or call are also, encouraging. We never knew that something like this, that we only knew 2 weeks ago, could affect us so much.
For those of you who we don't personally know who've prayed for us, we can't say how much that means. We love each one of you.
One day at a time.................................... He'll wipe our tears away.