Sorry it's long, but it's special

Today Jim, Thomas & I headed into town to do a little shopping with our Christmas money. I found this book at the bible bookstore called, The Day God brought us you. I opened this children's book to discover it was a story about a momma fox who prayed and waited and had faith in God, to bring her a child. It spoke about how she watched other animals with their babies and how sad she felt. The little fox asked his momma why his other momma let him go. Momma fox shared how much his momma fox wanted him to have better and how she couldn't give that to him. The story goes on but ends with momma fox saying The day God brought us you, made me the happiest momma in the whole world. Tonight was the traditional family tradition of sloppy joes, yummy apple salad that Jim's stepmom makes and some family presents. After all was done and family was getting ready to go, Jim's stepmom (the one with cancer) offered to hold Thomas as he was getting tired, in her arms in her cushy chair. I gave her his bottle and blanket. He was so willing to go to her and climb up in her lap. She cuddled him in his blanket and grabbed this little bear she has that sings a beautiful song called "Love me forever".

I noticed her holding him and singing with this bear in a soft grandmother voice. "Love me forever always and ever. If I ever go away, will you love me always. In my heart you'll always stay, forever and always." I grabbed the video camera to record this most precious moment in my life. Knowing that this would probably be the last and only time Thomas would know his Grandma, made my tears flow profusely. I couldn't stop crying, just thinking how amazing our God is!! I stopped the camera and walked away toward the table where Jim was with his step-sister and brother-in-law. He noticed me crying and I pointed to his stepmom & Thomas. He just smiled and wrapped his arm around me and asked "are you okay?" I didn't answer in words but just shook my head no and started to cry more. Watching this moment was so special to me and so unforgettable. I went downstairs to our bathroom and closed the door. I couldn't help but wipe tears out of my eyes as the thought of what was happening and how it made me feel. I am both happy and sad. Happy that our answer to prayers......Thomas, has the chance to meet his Grandma. Sad that Jim's stepmom doesn't know Christ and won't see Thomas in heaven. Looking in the mirror in the bathroom alone, I kept saying to myself "Pull it together, pull it together." I wiped my tears and then walked back up to join the family. I asked Jim's step-sister to take a picture of the 4 of us. Jim & I knelt next to his stepmom, who was still cuddling Thomas in her arms for a picture. Agh, such a special night! After everyone left, and Thomas went to sleep, Jim & I sat next to the fire with his stepmom. The ambiance of the Christmas lights on the decor in the house and just our fellowship was so nice. We talked about everything even God. We sat and talked for 2.5 hours, just basking in the moments. She said "stay with me awhile and talk, and can you heat me a cup of milk?" Jim & I both know that she wanted to be with us, because she knows she won't have much more time with us ever again to sit, as the cancer is progressing quickly.
Tomorrow is Christmas and I'm sure we'll have more relaxing time with his stepmom and dad to talk and hopefully to talk more about God. (Please pray for that moment) Our trip will end on Monday and we both are preparing ourselves for the tears that will flow from his stepmom and more than likely both of us. Knowing that we are leaving back to California and will more than likely never return to see her. It is a weird feeling knowing that when you walk away, it's the end. We know all things are possible with God, and miracles can happen. But her cancer is in most of her body, including her lungs. She is very fraile looking and is sick and weak.
Tomorrow is Christmas but is also a special day for my family. It will be 25 years ago tomorrow that I woke from a coma after a serious accident. God is Good!!
Thomas is sound asleep and cuddled in his blankets like a bird in a nest. Jim is unwinding by listening to his IPOD, so I think I'm going to say my prayers and go to sleep.
I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and may God bless you with special memories, too.